Sher on Mizah

akbar dabe nahīñ kisī sultāñ kī fauj se

lekin shahīd ho ga.e biivī kī nauj se

akbar dabe nahin kisi sultan ki fauj se

lekin shahid ho gae biwi ki nauj se

lipaT bhī jā na ruk 'akbar' ġhazab kī beauty hai

nahīñ nahīñ pe na jā ye hayā kī duty hai

lipaT bhi ja na ruk 'akbar' ghazab ki beauty hai

nahin nahin pe na ja ye haya ki duty hai

ġhazab hai vo ziddī baḌe ho ga.e

maiñ leTā to uTh ke khaḌe ho ga.e

ghazab hai wo ziddi baDe ho gae

main leTa to uTh ke khaDe ho gae

haqīqī aur majāzī shā.erī meñ farq ye paayā

ki vo jaame se bāhar hai ye pājāme se bāhar hai

haqiqi aur majazi shaeri mein farq ye paya

ki wo jame se bahar hai ye pajame se bahar hai

is qadar thā khaTmaloñ kā chārpā.ī meñ hujūm

vasl kā dil se mire armān ruḳhsat ho gayā

is qadar tha khaTmalon ka chaarpai mein hujum

wasl ka dil se mere arman ruKHsat ho gaya

har mulk is ke aage jhuktā hai ehtirāman

har mulk kā hai father hindostāñ hamārā

har mulk is ke aage jhukta hai ehtiraman

har mulk ka hai father hindostan hamara

dhamkā ke bose lūñgā ruḳh-e-rashk-e-māh kā

chandā vasūl hotā hai sāhab dabāv se

dhamka ke bose lunga ruKH-e-rashk-e-mah ka

chanda wasul hota hai sahab dabaw se

jab ġham huā chaḌhā liiñ do botaleñ ikaTThī

mullā kī dauḌ masjid 'akbar' kī dauḌ bhaTTī

jab gham hua chaDha lin do botalen ikaTThi

mulla ki dauD masjid 'akbar' ki dauD bhaTTi

ham ne kitne dhoke meñ sab jīvan kī barbādī kī

gaal pe ik til dekh ke un ke saare jism se shādī kī

hum ne kitne dhoke mein sab jiwan ki barbaadi ki

gal pe ek til dekh ke un ke sare jism se shadi ki

aam terī ye ḳhush-nasībī hai

varna langḌoñ pe kaun martā hai

aam teri ye KHush-nasibi hai

warna langDon pe kaun marta hai

urdu se ho kyuuñ bezār english se kyuuñ itnā pyaar

chhoḌo bhī ye raTTā yaar twinkle twinkle little star

urdu se ho kyun bezar english se kyun itna pyar

chhoDo bhi ye raTTa yar twinkle twinkle little star

jab bhī vālid kī jafā yaad aa.ī

apne daadā kī ḳhatā yaad aa.ī

jab bhi walid ki jafa yaad aai

apne dada ki KHata yaad aai

sirf mehnat kyā hai 'anvar' kāmyābī ke liye

koī uupar se bhī telephone honā chāhiye

sirf mehnat kya hai 'anwar' kaamyabi ke liye

koi upar se bhi telephone hona chahiye

ta.alluq āshiq o māshūq kā to lutf rakhtā thā

maze ab vo kahāñ baaqī rahe biivī miyāñ ho kar

talluq aashiq o mashuq ka to lutf rakhta tha

maze ab wo kahan baqi rahe biwi miyan ho kar

aurat ko chāhiye ki adālat kā ruḳh kare

jab aadmī ko sirf ḳhudā kā ḳhayāl ho

aurat ko chahiye ki adalat ka ruKH kare

jab aadmi ko sirf KHuda ka KHayal ho

hai kāmyābī-e-mardāñ meñ haath aurat kā

magar tū ek hī aurat pe inhisār na kar

hai kaamyabi-e-mardan mein hath aurat ka

magar tu ek hi aurat pe inhisar na kar

us kī beTī ne uThā rakkhī hai duniyā sar par

ḳhairiyat guzrī ki añgūr ke beTā na huā

us ki beTi ne uTha rakkhi hai duniya sar par

KHairiyat guzri ki angur ke beTa na hua

begam bhī haiñ khaḌī huī maidān-e-hashr meñ

mujh se mire gunah kā hisāb ai ḳhudā na maañg

begam bhi hain khaDi hui maidan-e-hashr mein

mujh se mere gunah ka hisab ai KHuda na mang

butoñ ke pahle bande the misoñ ke ab hue ḳhādim

hameñ har ahd meñ mushkil rahā hai bā-ḳhudā honā

buton ke pahle bande the mison ke ab hue KHadim

hamein har ahd mein mushkil raha hai ba-KHuda hona

laundry kholī thī us ke ishq meñ

par vo kapḌe ham se dhulvātā nahīñ

laundry kholi thi us ke ishq mein

par wo kapDe hum se dhulwata nahin

hoñT kī shīrīniyāñ college meñ jab baTne lagīñ

chaar din ke chhokre karne lage farhādiyāñ

honT ki shiriniyan college mein jab baTne lagin

chaar din ke chhokre karne lage farhadiyan

do sagī bahnoñ kī do gañjoñ se shādī ho ga.ī

aur ye be-zulf bhī ham-zulf kahlāne lage

do sagi bahnon ki do ganjon se shadi ho gai

aur ye be-zulf bhi ham-zulf kahlane lage

kyā pūchhte ho 'akbar'-e-shorīda-sar kā haal

ḳhufiya police se pūchh rahā hai kamar kā haal

kya puchhte ho 'akbar'-e-shorida-sar ka haal

KHufiya police se puchh raha hai kamar ka haal

aur to kuchh bhī nahīñ hazrat-e-'māchis' lekin

aap meñ aag lagāne kā kamāl achchhā hai

aur to kuchh bhi nahin hazrat-e-'machis' lekin

aap mein aag lagane ka kamal achchha hai

ḳhud tiis kā hai aur dulhan saaTh baras kī

girtī huī dīvār ke saa.e meñ khaḌā hai

KHud tis ka hai aur dulhan saTh baras ki

girti hui diwar ke sae mein khaDa hai

jo chāhtā hai ki ban jaa.e vo baḌā shā.er

vo jā ke dostī gāñThe kisī mudīr ke saath

jo chahta hai ki ban jae wo baDa shaer

wo ja ke dosti ganThe kisi mudir ke sath

vahāñ jo log anāḌī haiñ vaqt kāTte haiñ

yahāñ bhī kuchh mutashā.er dimāġh chāTte haiñ

wahan jo log anaDi hain waqt kaTte hain

yahan bhi kuchh mutashaer dimagh chaTte hain

chaa.e bhī achchhī banātī haiñ mirī begam magar

muñh banāne meñ to un kā koī saanī hī nahīñ

chae bhi achchhi banati hain meri begam magar

munh banane mein to un ka koi sani hi nahin

ilm hāsil kar ke bhī miltī nahīñ hai naukrī

rahm ke qābil hai bas hālat hamārī in dinoñ

ilm hasil kar ke bhi milti nahin hai naukri

rahm ke qabil hai bas haalat hamari in dinon

aa ke bazm-e-sher meñ shart-e-vafā puurī to kar

jitnā khānā khā gayā hai utnī mazdūrī to kar

aa ke bazm-e-sher mein shart-e-wafa puri to kar

jitna khana kha gaya hai utni mazduri to kar

pahle ham ko bahan kahā ab fikr hamīñ se shādī kī

ye bhī na sochā bahan se shādī kar ke kyā kahlā.eñge

pahle hum ko bahan kaha ab fikr hamin se shadi ki

ye bhi na socha bahan se shadi kar ke kya kahlaenge

nurse ko dekh ke aa jaatī hai muñh pe raunaq

vo samajhte haiñ ki bīmār kā haal achchhā hai

nurse ko dekh ke aa jati hai munh pe raunaq

wo samajhte hain ki bimar ka haal achchha hai

chehre to jhurriyoñ se bhare dil javān haiñ

din meñ haiñ shaiḳh raat meñ salmān-ḳhān haiñ

chehre to jhurriyon se bhare dil jawan hain

din mein hain shaiKH raat mein salman-KHan hain

vo un kā zamāna thā jahāñ aql baḌī thī

ye merā zamāna hai yahāñ bhaiñs baḌī hai

wo un ka zamana tha jahan aql baDi thi

ye mera zamana hai yahan bhains baDi hai

pareshānī se sar ke baal tak sab jhaḌ ga.e lekin

purānī jeb meñ kanghī jo pahle thī so ab bhī hai

pareshani se sar ke baal tak sab jhaD gae lekin

purani jeb mein kanghi jo pahle thi so ab bhi hai

aa.ī sadā-e-haq ki yahī band-o-bast haiñ

tere vatan ke log to murda-parast haiñ

aai sada-e-haq ki yahi band-o-bast hain

tere watan ke log to murda-parast hain

dāḌhī kā naam le ke hameñ kyoñ ho Toktī

dāḌhī koī break hai jo cycle ko roktī

daDhi ka nam le ke hamein kyon ho Tokti

daDhi koi break hai jo cycle ko rokti

election phir vo zil-hijj ke mahīne meñ karā.eñge

to kyā do daañt ke voter kī phir qurbāniyāñ hoñgī

election phir wo zil-hijj ke mahine mein karaenge

to kya do dant ke woter ki phir qurbaniyan hongi

un ke gunāh kyā kaheñ kis kis ke sar ga.e

tum ko ḳhabar nahīñ ka.ī ustād mar ga.e

un ke gunah kya kahen kis kis ke sar gae

tum ko KHabar nahin kai ustad mar gae

das bachchoñ ke abbā haiñ magar hai yahī ḳhvāhish

har vaqt hī baiThī rahe lailā mire aage

das bachchon ke abba hain magar hai yahi KHwahish

har waqt hi baiThi rahe laila mere aage

be-vaqūfī ke anokhe kārnāme dekh kar

achchhe-ḳhāse leaderoñ ko bhī gadhā kahnā paḌā

be-waqufi ke anokhe karname dekh kar

achchhe-KHase leaderon ko bhi gadha kahna paDa

buā ko to dekho na gahnā na paatā

bajaT haath meñ jaise dhobin kā khātā

bua ko to dekho na gahna na pata

bajaT hath mein jaise dhobin ka khata

naam ke saath ek do alfāz kī dum chāhiye

sher phīkā hī sahī lekin tarannum chāhiye

nam ke sath ek do alfaz ki dum chahiye

sher phika hi sahi lekin tarannum chahiye

maiñ ne har file kī dumchī par ye misra' likh diyā

kaam ho saktā nahīñ sarkār maiñ roze se huuñ

main ne har file ki dumchi par ye misra' likh diya

kaam ho sakta nahin sarkar main roze se hun

zamāne kā chalan kyā pūchhte ho 'ḳhvāh-maḳhvāh' mujh se

vahī raftār be-Dhañgī jo pahle thī so ab bhī hai

zamane ka chalan kya puchhte ho 'KHwah-maKHwah' mujh se

wahi raftar be-Dhangi jo pahle thi so ab bhi hai

'anvar' ḳhudā kare ki ye sachchī na ho ḳhabar

ikkīsvīñ sadī meñ vaDere bhī jā.eñge

'anwar' KHuda kare ki ye sachchi na ho KHabar

ikkiswin sadi mein waDere bhi jaenge

professor ye urdu ke jo urdu se kamāte haiñ

isī paise se bachchoñ ko ye añgrezī paḌhāte haiñ

professor ye urdu ke jo urdu se kamate hain

isi paise se bachchon ko ye angrezi paDhate hain

ek qaidī sub.h ko phāñsī lagā kar mar gayā

raat bhar ġhazleñ sunā.īñ us ko thānedār ne

ek qaidi subh ko phansi laga kar mar gaya

raat bhar ghazlen sunain us ko thanedar ne

jo apnā bhaa.ī hai rahtā hai vo paañv kī Thokar meñ

magar jorū kā bhaa.ī to gale kā haar hotā hai

jo apna bhai hai rahta hai wo panw ki Thokar mein

magar joru ka bhai to gale ka haar hota hai

vaa.iz ne mujh meñ dekhī hai īmān kī kamī

vaa.iz meñ sirf dum kī kasar dekhtā huuñ maiñ

waiz ne mujh mein dekhi hai iman ki kami

waiz mein sirf dum ki kasar dekhta hun main